d-eye-arrhea.

what does this thing do.

thanksgiving thursdays

robin and i have been thinking a lot today about all of the things we're thankful for. we have been writing thank you notes all morning!
we have decided that it is important to be grateful, and often. it's easy for feelings of gratitude to get lost in the shuffle. so here is our solution: every thursday we will give the world the opportunity to post an open thank you letter on the blog. you can say anything you want! say thanks to your favorite elementary school teacher, or say i am grateful to be here and be healthy, or say thank you nature for making trees so tall and climbable! just go nuts!
please post your thank you letters in the comments. post fifty times if you want; there are so many things to say!

i have a crush on donald rumsfeld!

i mean, it's purely physical, but it's true. he has the most expressive face ever.
here's your chance to get political.
tell me, what is donald rumsfeld thinking?



i just want to wrap his little head up in a wonton skin and dip it in some soy sauce.

damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

http://www.ideazoo.com/things/hiphop.cfm

tell me your hip hop name. pizzle in the commizzle.

obviously, mine is King Slim Freak of the underground.

where are you going?

seriously, where are you guys going?

there is obviously some kind of holiday i am unaware of. does anybody know what these ladies are celebrating and where the heck they're going to celebrate it? post it in the comments, so that i, too, may attend this function.

i haven't seen outfits this serious since laura bryna attended the academy of country music awards.

can't place the name?

she's the founder of the texas hairdressers' association big-time family fun marching band.

i think that's cobalt blue suede.

Lit Faves.

What is the greatest book that you have read within the past 3 months?:
Please send your book title and a pic if you want to: frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com

robin -

erin -

i am filled with bitter rage.

do you want to know what i think is ridiculous?

people with too much time on their hands that sit around the house all day photoshopping pictures of members of the political party they oppose to make stupid jokes. so your job is to find one of these things (it is not difficult) and send it to us. and then we can sit around our offices grimacing and grinding our teeth.
oh, look what i found:

i mean, i'm all about wasting time on the internet when i have to be at my desk anyway, but come ON.

whatever, at least when they poorly attached hillary's severed head to another person's body they chose A BLACK PERSON.

julian found this gem:

Reference!

Everyone knows someone or is someone who is doing something interesting, creative, motivating, weird, amazing, or f*cking mind blowing. Please send us a link which references one of these someones to frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com Feel free to send along a pic from their site too, because visuals are SO enticing!

Let the inspirational referencing begin!

...and, give yourself a hug, right now!

robin-I'm going with one of my favorites - Amy Sedaris! http://www.amysedarisrocks.com/ilikeyou.htm

robin - Also, my friend Karin Persan is an excellent artist, and craft genius:http://www.karinepersan.xbuild.com/

...sorry no pic, but you HAVE to check out her work

SCOTT says to check out: http://www.davidcerny.cz//
"...absolutely insane, wonderful, hilarious Czech-based sculptor and artist."

so obviously you're familiar with edward hopper. (thanks, christina) look at that light.

now check out eric fischl. this guy blows my mind completely.

his website is http://www.ericfischl.com/

love, erin

The Future!

Okay, this one is going to require a bit more work. Please illustrate for us what you think your future back yard will look like. You can send the drawing via email if you have a scanner: frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com Or you can email us requesting an address or fax number where you can send your drawing...if you don't have access to a scanner. OR - you can just find an image on the internets which best conveys your future back yard - if you don't have the time to draw it.




Thanks!!!





dear robin,

that's correct. who needs a pool house when you can have a toy house? did you want me to show you what's inside my future toy house too?

what an asshole. love, erin

(orbin(my future name)) This is what it will look like in my backyard in 2010:

What's your favorite movie from the 1940's

Send us the title and a pic if you can to: frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com


It's a Wonderful Life - robin









okay. my movie is casablanca, because it's the only one i've ever heard of besides what you just posted with this obscure ass request. i've never even seen it. anyway, here's bogart at the end.

that's me tipping my hat to someone who knows about the film industry in the 1940's. i own fever pitch with drew barrymore on dvd.

love, erin

Kon-Tiki is Andrea's favorite 1940's movie - I'll have to check this one out.

Bambi is Ami's favorite 1940's flick...cute!

ok genes and geniuses

my boyfriend's band is getting *REALLY* big. i need you guyses help to come up with some really great t shirt slogans for their next tour! post in comments.

p.s. my guy is the one on the left with the perm!

e=mc2 HAHAHAHA!!!!1

tell me a joke about math or science.

Word of the day

So, it's Friday. Generally on Fridays I feel uplifted, and relieved. Here's the project: Google image search your one word of the day-for today. Send the image to us frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com along with your word.

HOPE - robin

AMBITION!!!!!!!! -erin

salacious - Ami

Garbage - Kristina

12,000 Napkins Later...

Something that's been on my mind recently is the fact that anytime I go anywhere that sells prepared food products, I leave with a bag of food product, and 11 napkins. This is crazy. So, I propose that we all ask those who are mitting these handfulls of napkins into our muffin or sandwich bags to please halt after just one. I dare us. I triple dog dare us!

all about the color red.

write a little diddy. just a couple of lines. like this:

my favorite color is red.
that's because of blood, for one thing.
is it true that when it's still inside you it is blue?
i heard that once.

then pop it into an online translater, like this one here:

http://babelfish.altavista.com/

and then give us the original little thing and then the translated thing, like this:

my favourite color is red

that is because of the blood, for a thing.

he is true that when it is still inside of you is blue?

I heard that one a time.

post in the comments.

wha happa?

investigate this crime scene.

here we go yo.

write a rap about what you did last night.

pizzle your response in the comizzle.

Re-arrangement Time!

Using the words in this poem - make your own poem about your first love. Post it in the commentz...

having a, robot.

if you could just go ahead and have a robot, tell me what it would do. also if it does or does not have a full mouth of teeth. see below.

piggy your answer in the ciggy

the ethnically diverse sisters.

"the white sisters" want to rename their band after discoveringtizing that sharonda (pictured center) is actually 1/16 african american. pickle your suggestions for a new band name in the condiments.

imagigiration habitatual

please tell me three things about the person who lives here, also their name. pudding in the comments.

complete the

sentence.

"Again, my eyes fill with tears. I must confess to keeping something from you: I broke all the bones in the hand you are squeezing in a puppereering mishap only hours before I met you. But joy defeats my pain! Who knew that a traveling puppeteer such as I would find happiness here with the daughter of a billionaire industrialist? I will give you happiness beyond your dreams of..."

post it in comments, obviously.

explain this to me.

post in comments.

makin' stuh' uh'

write a sentence with these initials: R.I.D.C.F.S.B.H.S.D.G.
for example, i'll begin one: Robin Invites Dead Cold Finger Shamble Binge Hat Stangle Dangle Gangitron.
okay, but you can use real words.

3 Words, 2 Weights

Please list 3 descriptive words for the image above, and post them in the comments.

please tell me...

what is this animal thinking?

post it in comments.

oh no, chessie took my backpack!

some little kids (4th grade) in MD wrote this amazing chapter book. it's too long to post here, but the link is: http://www.kidlink.org/KIDPROJ/Kidwriters/Mystery/Maryland/Chessie.htm
then you have to just keep hitting the next button.
one kid would start a story, someone else would take over, they would pass it on, etc. i think we should try one.
here's how the first kid started their story:

"When John got off of the school bus he followed the smell of the salt water. There was light fluffy clouds in the sky. Everywhere people were laughing and talking. It was a happy place at that time. But then John saw a duck being tortured because everyone was chasing it. Then he ran to the duck that was on the dock. He got his lunch and fed the duck. He was feeding the duck by the tour boat. Then when the whistle blew, he jumped up. Some of the passengers in a different class heard it and went running to get on the boat. The people that ran to get on the boat knocked John's bookbag off his shoulder and it fell in the water. John yelled, "HEY!"
As soon as he watched it fall into the water he said, "Oh no, my bookbag fell from the dock of Annapolis. Gee! Now Chessie the sea monster got it. "Jenny, one of John's classmates, asked, "Who is Chessie?" John said, "Chessie is the long green slimy sea monster that lives in the Chesapeake Bay. She just took my bookbag." Jenny chuckled when Chessie looked at her and said, "She looks like a 'Long green slimy worm.'"

so who wants to start? i bet it's robin!

focus.

just kidding.

write a sausage poem.

apparently, they're actually called that.
the last letter of the previous word is the first letter of the new word.
for example: robin needs some esophogal love every year, readily.
whoa! it's hard!
you try it. post it in the comments.

please note:

in reference to the two below posts:

Robin: just posted on the bloggy
me: me too
OMG NO WAY
we posted the same thing.........
Robin: WE SHARE A BRAIN
me: THAT'S NUTS

food in clothes.

please write a caption or dialogue for this futuristic 3-d cartoon and post it in the comments.

Victorian Thoughts

Create a thought dialogue for the ladies in the picture above. You can write and send it to our gmail account: frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com, and we will post your thoughts!

woman in red: "what the fck is wrong with my flute?!"

woman in yellow: "This hat is made out of manatees, therefore, I cannot lift my head"

little girl:

erin says-

woman in brown dress: if i stare long enough through these binocolurs, i can see the back side of my outfit from the entire way around the planet.

yellow dress: my dress is made out of toothpaste for kids!

girl: my grey dress is the perfect color to match the sensation of not being able to breathe! i think i just cracked a rib! why does my hat have a haircut!

last picked at dodgeball...

find the most emo album cover of all time that makes you crack up!

here's what i mean...

email us your pictures at frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com

also feel free to design your own!

(r0bin) "Heavy and Pensive on the Beach"

how many times can you say 'ice' on one body?

i saw some pretty good tattoos this weekend. then i thought, i bet there are some really bad ones out there.
find us a picture of a really shitty tattoo. email the picture, and anything else you feel like saying about it, to frontporchtimemachine@gmail.com

here is one that i found, although there were so many bad ones it was hard to narrow it down. but mr. cool ice, ice, ice, ice is pretty terrible. i wish i could see the ones on his shoulders, too.

(robin) I think it's Star Trek faces:

alright folks, i have got to submit a second submission for submissinitization. holy.

am i blowing your mind, robin? yes, that's a nude native american hugging a gigantic corn dog. and she's wearing your shoes. which obviously she bought at disney world. shit.